We all want that closeness a relationship can bring, but there are instances when you may be a little too emotionally dependent on your partner. Do you have trouble making decisions for yourself or find yourself unable to complete everyday tasks without your partner’s guidance? If so, then it may be time to reexamine any codependent behaviors that are beginning to surface. Shawn M. Burn, Ph.D., writes for Psychology Today that codependent relationships usually involve one person acting as caretaker and rescuer for the distressed partner. Of course, no one can “save” or “be saved” by any one person, no matter how much the couple involved loves each other, so this type of reliance isn’t healthy. Relying on your partner too much means you may be asking for more emotional support than they’re able to give. Here are a few signs you’re depending on your partner too much.
1. You never see your friends
If you’re attached to your partner at all times and feel as though you have to do everything with him or her, then you could be missing out on opportunities to catch up with your friends. Bustle reports a survey conducted by Not4Dating, a site made for people looking for friendships, found entering a relationship was one of the main reasons as to why people lost touch with their friends. In fact, more people lose their friends when a relationship is starting as opposed to when a relationship is ending. As much as you love your partner, you need to know how to spend some one-on-one time with your friends. Pick up the phone and give your pals a call — they’ll be happy to hear from you.
2. All your self-esteem stems from them
Codependents are often lacking in self-confidence, which leads them to attach themselves to their partner, according to These self-esteem issues can also cause someone to sacrifice their own needs so that they can appease their partner. Doing nice things for your partner is great, but it shouldn’t be the sole source of confidence. It’s important to set some boundaries in your relationship and take steps to raise your self-esteem. When you start taking care of your emotional well-being, you’ll rely less on your partner.
3. You feel dissatisfied — except when you’re with your partner
To feel happy and fulfilled, you have to achieve balance in your life. Your partner probably makes you happy most of the time, but relying on them as your sole source of happiness will always leave you feeling unfulfilled. As mindbodygreen points out, happiness comes from within. If you feel extremely dissatisfied with your friends, family, living situation, and life in general when your partner isn’t around, this is a huge red flag. To avoid this codependent thinking, try hanging out with your friends and family for a few days to catch up on what they’re doing. Learn to appreciate other aspects of your life so that codependency doesn’t become an issue.
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4. You feel anxious when you think about your relationship
When you’ve been relying on your partner for too long, you’ll feel burned out, exhausted, and completely anxious around your partner, says WebMD. Instead of feeling loved and happy, you’ll feel stressed and overwhelmed around your partner without even realizing why.Relationships, romantic or not, shouldn’t leave you feeling run-down. If you are feeling this way, take a step back and talk to your partner about how you feel. Set some boundaries and also take some time for yourself to find inner peace. Yoga, meditation, and exercise are all great ways to do this.
5. You have trouble making decisions for yourself
It’s Friday night, and all of your friends are going out to the bars. They ask you to come out with them, but you tell them you’re not sure what you’re doing yet. In reality, you don’t have any plans, but making decisions without your partner’s permission feels wrong. You’d rather wait to ask your partner what they’re up to on Friday and slide the idea by them first. Does this scenario sound familiar? You’re probably relying on your partner too much if you can’t make these types of decisions on your own. Step out on a limb and make plans for yourself, then be sure to let your partner know. Were they excited for you to go out and have fun or angered that you left them out of the decision? If their reaction is less than nice, they may have a dependency problem, too.