Although the statistics for marriage are not always positive — 40% to 50% of them will end in divorce in America — no one enters into wedded bliss expecting it to fail. But unfortunately, things happen, and many couples wonder at some point whether their marriage could be on the brink of divorce. All relationships take work. And it could be time to consider couples’ counselling to help communication. But if you’ve already been down that road or you’re noticing some major red flags, your marriage could be in real trouble.
Here are a few signs your marriage is likely to end in divorce.
One of you has an addiction
One of the biggest challenges any couple can face is addiction. When excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, or gambling are involved — and when they begin to take precedence over the spouse — the marriage becomes strained. There’s bound to be some resentment, and there are usually secrets involved. Seek professional help, and take care of yourself in the process.
You’re avoiding your spouse
You may not even realize you’re doing this, but finding reasons to avoid your partner is a troubling sign. If you’re constantly prioritizing your friends over your marriage, or if you make excuses not to be home with your spouse, you could be in danger of divorce. Some signs you’re avoiding an inevitable split include:
Doing more things on your own (and liking it)
Imagining your life without your partner
Avoiding problems and arguments instead of dealing with them
You have financial problems or secrets
Many studies have found a correlation between financial disagreements and divorce. If you’re hiding debt from your spouse, you’ve made some reckless financial decisions, or you’re constantly stressed over the state of your finances, it’s not a good sign.
Even if you’re upfront about your finances, your partner could be keeping money secrets from you. Here are a few warning signs:
Your partner gets defensive or stressed when you bring up money.
You notice a lot of new purchases that haven’t been accounted for.
You’re being showered with gifts, and your partner can’t explain why. (It’s a sign of deflection.)
You’re “forbidden” from checking the mail.
Your sex life is dull or non-existent
Passion always ebbs and flows in a relationship, and the stress of daily life can take its toll behind closed doors. But according to divorce lawyer Randall Kessler, a lackluster sex life is an indication that divorce is near. Kessler sometimes sees divorcing couples who haven’t had sex in years.
You never argue
Your partner is supposed to be your friend and your confidant. So if you’re feeling lonely or isolated, it’s indicative of major marital woes. If you’ve been feeling lonely, or if you feel like your spouse is withdrawing from you, speak up. It could just be a misunderstanding, and your other half could be feeling as lonely as you are. Or — or, they could have already mentally checked out.