College is a great time for sex insofar as you’re constantly surrounded by hundreds of other people your age, who are likely all equally horny as you (which is to say: very horny). All you really have to do is maintain eye contact with someone in class to get things going. But that doesn’t mean all this boning you’re squeezing in between classes is high-quality. A lot of it is mediocre, at best, and forgettable. Don’t worry though because truthfully: Things get better.
Here are 12 ways sex only improves as you become a grown-ass woman.
1. You’ve learned enough about sex to know what’s trash. This isn’t to say that all sex post-college is suddenly great. But chances are you’ve tried 69ing (and other garbage positions) enough times by now to realize you should just never do it. With age, you refine your sexual repertoire.
2. Most beds you have sex in will be actual beds. Men in college see a mattress on the floor, look at it, and say, “Hmm, yes, this is what a bed looks like!” As you progress through your 20s, the mattresses are suddenly lifted from the floor, and if you’re truly blessed supported by headboards. It’s just such a morale booster to have sex more than 8 inches from the ground.
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3. You’ve fucked around with enough birth control that you’ve finally found your perfect method. Say good-bye to those halcyon days of frantically driving to the pharmacy for Plan B because you’re only 57 percent sure the condom stayed on, and also you forgot to get your pills refilled that week. As a grown woman, birth control maintenance becomes second nature because you’ve had so much time to find one that works for you, and you’ve had so much practice using it.
4. You know what you like. And, even better, you know how to tell a partner what you like. You might still be figuring things out, but you’re altogether more confident in your own sexuality and aren’t afraid to verbalize that. Sex may not involve much actual talking, but communication is key, and that only gets easier as you get older.
5. Foreplay is an actual thing. Even though you had all the time in the world in college to skip chemistry class and spend 18 hours doing foreplay instead, it’s so frequently neglected by young, horny men. This isn’t such a problem among grownups. Skipping foreplay is a cardinal sin, and that’s just solidified in adulthood.
6. No more getting halfway through a hookup and realizing the guy also hooked up with four of your friends. Friend groups in college can be messy if only because social circles are small, everyone is at the same parties every weekend, and everyone is hooking up at those parties. You know more people in your adult life. The odds of realizing the Dave who’s unhooking your bra is the same Dirtbag Dave your friend was talking about over drinks last week are much slimmer, if nonexistent. Adult world is a vast cornucopia of new partners. A sex buffet!
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7. Sex feels like less of an ordeal. Maybe because you’ve just had more of it, or maybe because there are 18 million other important things (like your job and rent) on your mind to keep you from k-holing in a sex anxiety spiral, sex becomes less of A Thing. Casual sex can truly be casual sex, and there’s altogether less ~drama~. A truly great thing.
8. Talking about sex with your friends gets more fun. In college, talking about sex could get real weird, real fast because everyone sorta knows each other (and also has maybe slept with each other). As much as your friends wanted to be invested in your sex life, no one wanted to imagine what Todd’s orgasm face looked like and then have to sit through study group with him. Your social circles diversify in adulthood, you meet new people to sleep with, and you can bring the tales of your exploits to brunch without having to change any names.
9. There are just more people to have sex with. As a student, admit it, it felt at least a liiiiiittle bit skeevy to set your Tinder age range outside of the college age group. But when you graduate from school, you graduate into a new dating pool, and that pool can include guys a few years older than you if you want. Live it up.
10. Your odds of running into a particularly bad one-night-stand are basically zero. Especially if you move to a city that’s even a little bit bigger than your college campus was. There’s nothing worse than having to cross paths with the guy who gave terrible oral every day on the way to lit class. That problem disappears when you’re no longer trapped on a 6-acre plot of land.
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11. Generally, people are cleaner. Something about going to college throws everyone into utter distress, and they lose the ability to take regular showers or wash their sheets. But in the adult world, where people have to be clean to show up to their jobs (more or less), people you meet and sleep with have probably showered in the past 24 hours, or at least make an effort to look like they have. Either way, it’s much nicer.
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12. Way more orgasms. This could be because everyone’s finally #woke to the necessity of orgasms or because of the foreplay thing, but whatever the cause it’s great. College sex could be so clumsy and awkward and over way too fast (three-pumps-and-done fast). Orgasms are much more plentiful in grown-ass woman sex. And if your partner isn’t meeting all your needs, grownup-you likely has the confidence to ask for more or just move on.
