Simon Cowell reached the lowest point in his life following the deaths of his parents—his father, Eric, in 1999, and his mother, Julie, in 2015. The 64-year-old television personality recently opened up about his struggles on an episode of The Diary Of A CEO podcast, where he admitted to experiencing suicidal ideation—a condition characterized by thoughts of dying without actively planning suicide.
Cowell candidly shared how deeply his parents’ deaths affected him, revealing, “I lost my will to live.” He explained that the profound grief led to these distressing thoughts, marking the darkest period in his life.
“The whole time was dark,” Cowell recalled, adding that he can “absolutely relate to when people reach the lowest levels you possibly can, where essentially being alive doesn’t matter anymore, because you just go, ‘Well, what have I got to live for?’”
The X Factor creator further explained, “Not thinking I want to take my own life, but thinking if something terrible happened it wouldn’t bother me, to myself.” Recalling the moment he found out his fiancée, Lauren Silverman, was pregnant, Cowell shared, “It changed everything in my life. It made me happy again.”
However, Cowell found a lifeline in his son, Eric. Reflecting on the pivotal role his son played in his recovery, he said, “My son was my saving grace. He gave me a reason to keep going.” The birth of his son provided Cowell with a renewed sense of purpose and hope, pulling him out of his emotional turmoil, reported Daily Mail.
Cowell’s openness about his mental health struggles highlights the importance of seeking help and finding support during difficult times. His journey underscores the profound impact that personal relationships and family can have in overcoming life’s darkest moments.