Dr. Lilly Jay, the ex-wife of actor Ethan Slater, has opened up about her emotional journey following their highly publicized split. In an essay titled How Does My Divorce Make You Feel? for The Cut on December 19, Jay reflected on how the divorce impacted her life, especially after the birth of their first child.
“No one gets married thinking they’ll get divorced … but I really never thought I would get divorced,” Jay wrote. “Especially not just after giving birth to my first child, and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.”
Slater, 32, filed for divorce in July 2023, just one month before their son’s first birthday. Around the same time, news of his relationship with Wicked co-star Ariana Grande emerged. Jay admitted that this added emotional strain, especially as the movie’s press tour became unavoidable, told Daily Mail.
“Days with my son are sunny. Days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker,” she explained. Jay, a perinatal psychologist, also described the emotional distance that developed between her and Slater during early parenthood.
“I didn’t understand the growing distance between us,” she said, recalling how she supported his career while caring for their newborn abroad. As her divorce became public, Jay mourned the loss of her private life.
“I deeply miss the life of invisibility I created for my patients,” she confessed, reflecting on how the sudden exposure conflicted with her professional identity. Despite the challenges, Jay expressed hope that her experiences could resonate with others.
“Maybe we can think about my messy not-so-personal life in that way: a dose of my own loss, rage, powerlessness, sadness that helps me hold yours,” she wrote. On a hopeful note, Jay shared her belief in a bright future ahead.
“A lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child,” she wrote, adding that both she and Slater “fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided.” While some initially speculated that Slater and Grande’s relationship began as an affair, both parties have denied the claims.